Most of my blog posts are about my "making" -- of things. Re-purposing fabric, floss and fibre into art and utilitarian objects. I write about process, progress, practice.
But those of you who've been following my blog for the nearly 20 years it's been around, and those of you who know me personally, will have also read some of the other sorts of musings I've shared in this space. This post is one of that kind.
I've been keeping an almost-daily journal for over 30 years now. I kept a diary as a teen -- as most teen girls did back in the day -- but that's not what I mean. In January of the year I was turning forty, I started to write in the style of Julia Cameron's "Morning Pages": three pages a day, stream of consiousness, first thing in the morning. Nowadays it's more often a single page, sometimes two -- but it's still 'stream of consciousness', and still (usually) first thing in the morning. It's where I'm "real" -- trying to get "stuff" out of my head and onto the page. It helps to start the day in a better frame of mind, and removes some of the creative blocks to which we're all prone.
But by evening time, the "Demons" often return, and it's a battle once again to deal with them appropriately. This morning I listed my particular "Demons" on the page, and thought I'd share them with you, in case you might have the same ones. Knowing we're not alone in these battles can be a comfort and an encouragement.
Here goes:
FEAR...
Of dying before my work is done;
Of losing more people I love and care about;
Of my children dying before me;
Of the US government's collapsing and taking Canada and the rest of the democratic world down with it, leaving fascists in control;
Of losing my memory;
Of losing any and all sense of purpose.
ANGER... accompanies each and every one of those fears.
DOUBT...
That God is really Emmanuel -- "God with us" -- rather than that old vision of the clock-maker who set the world ticking and went off to watch from a distance;
That I am never enough: never good enough, never doing enough; never wise enough; never loving enough; never generous enough. Just never measuring up.
LONGING...
For God to DO something about what we humans cannot seem to control: greed, corruption, conspiracy theories, entitlement, power-hunger, fear and anger;
For PEACE -- internally and externally;
For LOVE -- especially from my children.
LONELINESS...speaks for itself; and
GRIEF...about all of the above.
Recently, a couple of Anglican parishes with which I'm familiar posted about their up-coming "Blue Christmas" services. I've never been to one of these -- for fear I couldn't bear it and would collapse completely in a weepy puddle. My British heritage quakes at the thought of not 'bucking up' -- keeping calm and carrying on.
And most of the time in this space, that's what you see me doing.
But sometimes, as in the aftermath of a house fire just down the block on one of the darkest, coldest nights of the year, when I've tried to help by taking coffee to the first responders, helmets and protective suits glazed with ice, huddling in the 'shelter truck' -- when I was helped by only one other near neighbour, who owns the local cafe, who went to her shop and brought back more coffee, hot chocolate, cookies and beefy snacks for them -- well...
Thinking about the poor soul, troubled by his own demons, estranged from family, soothed by alcohol, living rough in his own house until on that night his resources failed and it burned around his unconsious form...
The Demons come calling, trying to 'get' me too. So I share these thoughts in this space, writing out the Demons to expose them to the clear light of day, and to the love and prayers of those who might be reading, and might be fighting the same ones -- and perhaps others -- too.
I cling to the hope that the Light -- symbolized by the candles for Hanukkah, Advent and Christmas -- really does shine in the darkness -- and the hope that the darkeness will never overcome it.
'And now these three [things] remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.'
-- Paul, the Apostle - 1st letter to the Corinthians, Ch. 13, v. 13.
Those Gentle Readers who've followed me for some time know that August is what I've come to call "My Anniversary Month". I was married in this month 47 years ago -- in heat and humidity, in a little old church in southwest Quebec. Thirty-one years later, on the same day, my DH died in a room just a wee bit away from the ER in a hospital in Calgary. If you've followed me, you already know the story and I'm not going to repeat it here.
That said, that phrase from 1 Corinthians 13 was the tail end of what was read at our wedding. It was true when Paul wrote it; it was true when it was read at our wedding, and it remains true today.
After everything has gone up in smoke and ash, what remains is...love.
This month I took it out again and discovered that, lo, and behold! I'd completed more of it than I'd thought -- so I decided to finish it -- and yesterday, I did.
It still needs a good press, and will be framed -- eventually -- but for now it's pinned up on my studio design wall:
And here's a close up of how I finished the bottom -- which differs from the pattern:
I used the alphabet provided in the pattern for the ornate "HMB" (my DH's initials) and adapted the numerals provided so that they'd match the size of the letters (vertically).
Typical of my challenges with counted cross-stitch, there are glitches -- mainly in the spacing of the motifs -- which (of course) produces a 'domino' effect. I ended up lengthening the side borders a little bit, and, having some extra space in the lower left corner, added the heart motif -- taken from a different pattern, designed by Erica Michaels. I look on that as a blessing, despite my fuding elsewhere in the piece!
Since my last post, I've almost completed the Erica Michaels piece, but can't share it here in case the recipient reads my blog post (it's a birthday gift). And of course, once finished with "What Remains...", I had to start a new piece, right?! You bet!
So yesterday I set out on the first motif of "Quaker du Japon", which I ordered to make up as a Christmas gift for my son. It's a very soothing stitch thus far -- an "order out of chaos" sort of practice, which I really need right now.
Blessedly, though we're having a spate of Very Hot (for Canada) weather (again), there's been a bit of a breeze, so I'm able to sit outside to stitch -- and enjoy my garden. The zucchini and cherry tomatoes are beginning to ripen at a steady pace, the Brown-eyed Susans are starting to blossom -- and then there's this bee balm blossom that looks double!
Bee Balm!
The bee balm's been blooming steadily for over two weeks now -- still going strong on the southeast corner of my house, with potentilla and lilies behind it trying to catch up.
Across the lawn to the east, under the small Mountain Ash (aka 'Rowan'), to my delight -- at last -- this year the poppy seed given me by my neighbour has not only sprouted but grown and blossomed!
Double-ruffled poppies in situ
Glorious poppies close up!
I planted them in a bed with other wild flowers, which are also starting to appear. There are some forget-me-nots just out of camera range...and then there's the Whatever It Is right next to the poppies. 😆 I won't know for certain what it is until it blooms -- and maybe not even then! No matter; I'll enjoy it!
Signing off with a link toNina-Marie's Off the Wall Friday, and wishing you a lovely weekend, wherever you are. This week she's written about creating happiness -- especially if you're a maker. It seems to come down to this: have faith in yourself, hope (and confidence) in your gifts, graces and abilities -- and love yourself enough to appreciate the unique being you are!
I venture to say that's what many (most?) of us over here (i.e. far from Ukraine and its efforts to keep Russia from stealing its democracy) are feeling right now. I know that's where my mind and heart are: reeling at the thought of another world-involved, European-centred conflict that both my father and step-father fought in hopes it would never happen again.
What to do? What can one do -- especially as an older (pushing 70) female half a world away?
My prayer this morning went something like this:
Dear God, what are you doing up there? You are doing nothing! Why don't you try stopping a war or something?! (paraphrasing Helene Hanff's letter to Frank Doel in the film84 Charing Cross Road.)
So...what to do?
Well, for one thing, I've donated $$ to the Primate's World Development and Relief Fund (PWRDF) -- the arm of the Anglican Church of Canada that partners internationally to bring funds and supplies to places in need. The PWRDF is currently partnered with ACT Alliance Appeal/Hungarian Interchurch Aid (HIA) to help those fleeing Russia's war-mongering in Ukraine, and has recently increased its support from $20K to $50K.Because I trust PWRDF and it keeps its admin costs low, I am assured that my wee donation, with that of so many others, will go where it's most needed in that quarter.
And...I'm stitching.
On the cross-stitch front, last evening I downloaded the afore-mentioned Jacob De Graaf's free pattern, "MYR" -- the Ukrainian word for 'peace'.
The blue and gold -- DMC floss #444 (yellow) and #322 (blue) are the colours of the Ukrainian flag. The lettering is in the Cyrillic alphabet, which is used in Ukraine. I began my stitch early this morning, and am 1/2-way along the outer blue border. It's a small piece, which I'm doing on "mystery fabric" that's estimated at 32-count; I'm using 2 threads of floss over 2 threads of fabric.
On the page linked above, Mr. De Graaf has inserted another link -- one that will take viewers to a list of places and ways to help for those of us living all around the world -- so that we might contribute in some small way, with actions, words and/or funds.
Stitchers might also wish to join a 'solidarity Stitch-ALong' (SAL), with another free pattern created by Linda of At the Point Studio. In her post, Linda explains the meaning behind the colours she selected, and the design itself. It's a beautiful, colourful piece to be stitched with intention, thought and (if you wish) prayer. She includes a link to a Facebook group for the SAL, should you wish to join there as well.
As for quilters...Bonnie Hunter is creating a pattern to be constructed with blue and yellow string pieces, which she is calling "Hearts of Hope" -- and you can read more about that HERE. The pattern will be given out in pieces (no pun intended!) starting March 25; meanwhile, y'all can dig into your stash for blue, yellow and neutral strings!
In Canada, Karen Chase of Sugar-free Quilts (based in Nova Scotia) is offering a free pattern for a Sunflower Throw Quilt in the 'pixelated' style, as the sunflower is the national flower of Ukraine. She's been posting about it on her Facebook page.
For those of us who knit/crochet, on her FB page Karen also references a friend who is collecting hand-knit hats, mitts and/or socks for Ukrainian refugees, and asks crafters to get busy, but stay tuned for further information re: where/when to donate!
I'm making a lap quilt that Karen says she'll find a home for in her efforts to support Ukrainian refugees -- but it's not the pattern she offers. Instead, I've dug out more fabric from my "inheritance" -- poly-cotton solids in 2 shades of blue and one of very pale yellow, and I'm making a Double Irish Chain from a pattern in a book I bought long ago: Quilts From the Quiltmaker's Gift, written by Joanne Larson Line and published in 2001 (I also have The Quiltmaker's Gift itself...)
All the strip sets are cut, and the first two are assembled; the third will be sewn and cut today.
Strip set #1 before slicing. I had to manipulate this photo so you could see that the centre strip really is a very pale yellow! My ironing board cover is really blue and white, not mauve and pink! LOL!
Strip set #2 being sliced
By now, with all this, you might feel less helpless and/or hopeless...but you might also be breathless! Take heart, Gentle Readers, for I'm leaving you with the link to Nina-Marie's Off the Wall Friday post, wherein she provides Rules for a Busy Quilter(and/or knitter and/or stitcher). Off you go, now...and have a helpful, hopeful, heart-full week! 😊
You know what (or who) I mean, don't you? The natterers -- sometimes referred to as "The Committee" -- that take up space in your brain, disturb your sleep, haunt your dreams and entice you to procrastinate because...well..."Who do you think you are?" and "What makes you think all this quilting has a purpose?" and "Without in-person shows, what good's making art anyway?" and on and on.
They're hard to ignore. Sometimes we might even acknowledge they have a point.
But -- STOP! Just STOP!
Sometimes they shout all the louder, as they have been doing in my head for the past couple of weeks (maybe longer). What to do?!
Pause; sit quietly with a cuppa; pray.
Go for a walk -- brisk or not. No ear buds.
Leave the News alone.
Call a friend.
Work with your hands.
I've been trying all of these, and in the case of the last...I've turned full-tilt into sorting, tossing, producing and finishing.
The sorting-and-tossing -- whether into the garbage or into a "give away" box/bag -- has been spurred on by Karen Brown of Just Get It Done Quilts, who's been hosting a "De-Clutter Challenge". I've not followed to the letter, but I've definitely got into the spirit of the event, and so got rid of simply-too-small-to-use batting scraps (I don't do post cards or Artists' Trading Cards so...out those bits go, being too small even to sew together into larger pieces). I've a growing stack of books for our hamlet's lending library -- once its doors re-open, which I hope will be soon! -- and I boxed up and stored away the CDs of family photos, mostly created by my husband, who died in 2006. I then bagged up a large quantity of other CDs and DVDs and took them over to our local charity thrift store. The ones left are sorted as to genre of music, plus poetry, and technology -- the ones needed to install my photo, scanner and printer drivers if/when needed.
In the production department, I've upped my game! I decided to set up a second sewing machine -- my teen-aged Husqvarna Lily 555 -- on the kitchen table, and I'm using it to quilt small charity quilts and to assemble Quilt As You Go (QAYG) blocks.
I've discovered, though, as I quilted along, that anything much larger than 40" square is cumbersome when you don't have a good working surface that's level with your machine. I have an old 'extension' from my first Husqvarna (now long gone) that attaches to this one but not well, so it's wobbly. I think that it'll be fine for QAYG blocks, though.
Here's my Bali Sunrise laid out on my 'design bed' in the guest room. The first row on the left is now sashed and assembled; the second row in has its sashing pinned to each block, and will be joined up soon at my "new" work station:
"Wait!" (Ican hear you thinking) -- "You're only one person! Why set up two sewing machines?!" Well, Gentle Readers, for this simple reason: I want to use particular colours of thread when I quilt, whereas I'll use pretty much any colour for piecing. Thus...I can do quilting at one machine, and piecing at the other, not having to change thread up top and in the bobbin whenever I want to move from piecing to quilting.
The exception? Larger tops that are still manageable enough to quilt myself*. Those I'll make time and space for in my studio which has a proper sewing table with the machine lowered into it and extra surrounding table space to hold the weight of the quilt sandwich.
*The full bed quilts still go to my faithful local long-arm quilter.
"Crazy Cats" -- seen in the photo of the quilting station (above) is now quilted and has only 2 sides' worth of binding to hand-sew. It's a small quilt and will be given away.
Next up is "Bali Sunrise" and then a mini "Easy Breezy" top that I've set up as a QAYG, based on Bonnie Hunter's 2020 Leader/Ender pattern. Both of those will be given away too.
Three more are to follow: "Broken Bricks", which is sandwiched and is too large for the kitchen station; "Off the Rails" which awaits sandwiching and might be okay at the kitchen station, and a whole-top QAYG -- a variation on a "jelly roll race" quilt -- that I'm going to call "Any String Goes!". I've chosen backing and batting for that, but haven't started it yet, as I think it'll need the studio station to do properly.
What about mysteries? Well, of course! I'm nearing the finale of Bonnie Hunter's "Frolic!" from 2019, with two of the four saw-tooth borders attached and a third under construction:
Clue #5 called for nine-patches and flying geese; here are my 'patches', but yes, my geese are finished too:
I'm currently in the midst of Clue #6. It calls for a variety of greys...of which I don't have much. (I don't want to cut into my selection for landscapes.) So...I've decided to 'mix it up' with some of the greens that are also used in the quilt. So far, I've created ten units, shown here under construction, with many more to go!
Of course, there's always knitting...in both the "production" and "finishing" category. My January socks are just over 1/2-finished:
I've resumed work on my Glasgow Rose Stole which, given that I've not enough yarn to make it full length, will be more like a scarf than a wrap, but I don't mind. It's pretty and the silk is lovely...but it's not mindless! It's made in 2 halves -- I'm nearly finished the first -- and then surrounded by a border. I'll have to do the border in off-white as I've not enough pink variegate to do it all:
Yarn: fyberspates 2 ply lace weight silk
And I've finished my Tegna cropped top! I made it longer than called for, but it's still pretty short (i.e. to my waist, rather than tunic-length) but I like it, and will enjoy it come summer, I think:
If all that's not enough to tame The Voices, I've added a bit of meditative cross-stitch, making a small gift for a friend with a February birthday:
It's an old pattern -- discontinued now, I think -- from Thea Dueck of The Victoria Sampler -- meant to be a needle roll, but could become a small framed piece instead. I'm undecided on that point, and will see what it wants when I've finished it. I enjoy working on it while listening to a bit of Bach, or to Dean Robert Willis of Canterbury Cathedral, reading one of his stories (currently, The Wind in the Willows).
All of this seems to be working for the moment, anyway, but it's a daily rhythm that needs to be maintained, lest The Voices take advantage!
I'll close with a bit of news on the Art front: first, tentative plans for an in-person, protocols-followed Lacombe Art Show & Sale are underway, with options should COVID require. Possibly in late May, with hopes that warmer weather will make in-person events more likely; and second, I'm in an online Art Exhibit! Former Alberta Premier and current Opposition Leader, Rachel Notley, hosts "Art from the Unknown" on an annual basis. This year it's on line (of course!) and I am one of thirty-two Alberta artists selected to be featured! You can see my entry, and that of all the others HERE.
Now...linking up with Nina Marie over at Off the Wall Friday, where she's also working out goals and hoping for future in-person creative opportunities! 😊
Be well...stay safe...take care to shut out those Voices that seek to haunt you. 'Til we meet again, let's listen to these voices instead...
It's a blustery day in this neck of the woods, so I thought I'd share with you my progress in the few days since my last post.
I begin each day with this routine: journal pages (in the manner of Julia Cameron, but usually 2 instead of 3); coffee; knitting; news and breakfast, and more knitting.
I mentioned in that last post that I'd decided I had to do something about my shabby collection of old dish cloths. It was 2009 since I'd replenished the lot -- and that's far too long! 😆
I'd set aside one that was on the needles and discovered last week -- thanks to my Ravelry records! -- that I'd started it in September 2016, with left-overs from a series of 'spa sets' I'd made for Christmas 2015. The pattern is even older -- originating as one of a series of "mystery" patterns, two per month, created for a Knit-Along for a long-forgotten Yahoo/Ravelry group. You can tell...if you look closely...just how old this first pattern is...
The second pattern is from the same era, but it's more generic. That said, it turned out to be reversible, which made it rather fun to knit up:
Side 1
Side 2 (or vice versa!)
I've decided to knit up one more -- a plain cloth in a purple variegated cotton -- and call it "done" for now.
Next in my routine -- around 9 a.m. or so, if it's temperate enough and sunny (as in 8 C to 10 C; that is, about 50 F) I go outside and get to work.
I knew this cycling combo of rain-wind-sun-swirling-clouds was in the forecast, so I've spent most of each morning this week moving bark chips and leaves around! The stack of bark chips left by Mike the Tree Guy is now reduced by a bit more than half, as I've spread it thickly around what I'm loosely calling "the copse" or "the haven":
Pussy willow, honeysuckle and lilacs surrounded by bark chips.
Having finished this Wednesday, yesterday I spent my time raking the leaf mulch off some of my flower beds and transporting it to the area around my very-trimmed willow. While I was at it, I harvested some willow rods to dry out -- with the hopes of learning to make a simple basket or two -- and pulled out marauding grass and dandelions from the flower beds. Everything is perking up -- and these ladies greeted me in the south bed:
Tulip surprise!
I'm thrilled to see them, as I've not planted new bulbs for several years. I'd begun to despair of ever seeing more than one lone yellow one; this year, it would seem the conditions were right -- and I have half-dozen up, and several blossoms. I smile just thinking about it!
On the quilting front, this week I finished assembling the "Strip to Shore" top, and located enough fabric for a pieced back. It's about 48" x 60":
Once that fabric is washed, I'll sandwich and quilt it -- probably with free-hand straight lines. 😉 First off, however, I'm going to quilt "Elvira Wears a Red Hat" for my friend E., a Red Hatter. I got it sandwiched and pinned this afternoon:
And yes...there's been some art making going on. I had the idea for a while, based on the view out my front window, where an old ornamental cherry grows. I've used this tree as inspiration for other pieces. This year, it was laden with berries that have been enjoyed by the deer and the birds throughout the fall and winter. On one bleak morning in late March, when it seemed the snow would never stop, and we'd fallen under the new protocols demanded by COVID-19, I spied a flash of red in the tree -- and found to my delight that there was a newly-returned robin there, looking for dinner.
It inspired me to create this little piece, which went off in today's mail for the 2020 SAQA Benefit Auction:
The Thing with Wings (C) 2020 Commercial cotton, machine quilting, thread painting, hand beading
Spring, the sunshine, the welcome rain, the gardening, my morning routines, the work of my hands...all of these have been nourishing "the thing with feathers that perches in [my] soul". What's giving you hope these days?
I'm linking this to Nina Marie's Off the Wall Friday -- where this week, she seems to be feeding her soul by sprucing up her studio!
Here's to all those out there who are mothers or who have mothers and grandmothers and surrogate mothers whose love gives us hope. Have a wonderful weekend! 😊
It's a new year; we're on the way in to a new decade. It struck me this morning that a mere twenty (20!) years ago today, many of us turned on our computers with 'bated breath, wondering if they'd crash!
It seems a bit silly now, with so much water under the bridge since then, and so much more roiling and churning beneath our bridges nowadays.
That said, with every new year comes the hope and promise of a better, brighter era. That has some folks pondering a 'word of the year' -- but this year, I've seen very little of that. Perhaps it's a fad whose time has come and gone.
Prairie Quintet -- the Wall-to-bed Project - September 2019
How did it play out for me? Let's see...
More peace. More quiet. -- some;
More time in the studio. -- Yes! Including that "Wall-to-bed Project" that had me working in the studio very solidly for three months!
More fruits and veggies. -- maybe...
More water. -- yes!
More rest. Moresleep. -- well, more rest in the form of sleep -- I went to bed early most nights, and I think I may have even taken more naps!
More giving (away). - Yes, actually -- including three quilts for a refugee family and one more for a neighbour burned out of his house, and a collection of paintings by artist Wadim Dobrolige to the Kuhl Centre in Edmonton.
More fresh air. More long walks. -- hard to say. Our relatively mild winter is meaning more walks in recent months, but perhaps that only offsets our rainy summer that saw me indoors more than I'd like.
More poetry. - Yes -- I even wrote a bit!
More finished projects. I think so -- especially with respect to knitting UFOs that are now finished: two sweaters, a Shetland shawl and two pair of socks -- not counting new things started and finished this year.
More connections with friends and family. - Yes -- largely due to a visit home to Quebec in
Presenting CVR High School graduates with a family-founded bursary -- 50 years after my own graduation June 2019
June, a visit to friends south of Calgary in August, and seeing my kids a bit more often.
More love. -- hmmm...well, I've felt loved more often this past year...and I hope I've shown it as well, but that's hard to tell.
More forgiveness. - probably not.
More patience. - maybe...
More kindness. More gentleness. - well, let's just say I made more of an effort to be kinder and gentler. And that took patience! 😉
More self-control. - a bit. But only just.
More people remembered. - I hope so.
More letters written. - Not by hand...but perhaps by e-mail.
More sweet memories made. - Well, there were sweet memories made -- this last Xmas being part of that -- but more than before? Let's just say, "more than in the last two years" -- and leave it at that!
More joy. - not sure.
More prayer. - Definitely!
More contentment. - a bit, yes.
So...where to for 2020? Is there another word following me around, nagging at me to be spoken into the new year? A word, yes, but it expresses an attitude, one that I want to live into in 2020:
HOPE.
I choose to live in hope.
I want to weave me some sunshine into every day...
And then perhaps more of what I sought last year will appear
It's been a long day and a heart-breaking week -- watching as more of what made Canada's Neighbour (with a 'u') to the South great, disintegrate as the vote to impeach didn't pass, as DT continues his buffoonery and insults, as his smarmy face shows up next to that of an accused child molester and trafficker of whom he disavows any knowledge.
As much of his party refuses to condemn him.
It's heart-breaking.
Closer to home, I've been struggling for over 24 hours to clean the quilt I made for my nephew's birthday (July 5).
It was beautifully quilted by my long-armer; I picked it up Friday a.m. and bound it over the weekend.
Then I washed it. And some **##@@$$!! PRE-WASHED red fabric bled into the white print that dominates the sashing and background.
Most of yesterday and today I have worked to try to fix this...with no change. There is one last shot -- when I get to The Shop or to a larger grocery tomorrow to buy 'colour catchers' -- YES, with a 'u', because that's how we roll up here.
I took out part of my frustration by mowing my backyard in the 23 C of the early afternoon, at top speed -- I finished in 40 minutes what usually takes 60. 😮
I've eaten chocolate and had perhaps a drink or two too many. I yelled (alone, in my house) at the Almighty, accusing HIM (it's always a 'him' when I am angry) of ignoring goodness here on earth and sitting back on HIS "cloud", being mightily entertained by HIS puny humans in some HIM-forsaken "reality show", not doing a darned thing about it.
And then...
I decided to crawl into bed with the new issue of Quilting Arts magazine that arrived in today's mail. And there it was: a spread of Season After Season...the SAQA Global exhibit in which I have a piece.
And then there was the piece -- on page 20. Who cares if the Americans can't spell "colour" to save their souls? It's there -- full out -- with the blurb I wrote (misspelling notwithstanding)...
And suddenly...I feel better.
Hopeful.
Maybe I really can get up tomorrow and go to work at The Shop.
And go back to the Sewdio on Friday for another stint at the "Wall-to-Bed Project".
Maybe I can keep on keeping on...and let HER take care of DT and DT's ilk...and all the problems they're causing for their country and the rest of human kind.
Just maybe...there's still hope.
Incarnation to Resurrection: Celebrating the Colours of the Church Year
(C) 2018
In 2004, our family endowed a pair of bursaries to graduating students at my former high school. A point system was developed, and has been refined over time.
The applicant is allowed 10 points for each of the following: his/her personal application letter; two letters of reference (one from an educator and one from outside the school, but not from family); and his/her high school record (marks). This makes 30 points.
An additional maximum of 20 points is given based on a financial needs assessment. This was created so that the applicants could develop an awareness of the cost of post-secondary education, as well as to determine need -- so that students weren't just being assessed on the basis of scholarship.
I believe that a post-secondary education is not found in universities alone, but also in various trade and vocational programs, and so students with talents and goals in these areas of endeavour should be given an opportunity to go to school -- and financial need shouldn't be a barrier.
Since that time, I've been honoured to be part of the committee to assess the applications submitted each spring. The bursaries amount to two prizes of $500 per year, one given to a male and one to a female. Every five or six years, I fly home (i.e. back to where I grew up in Eastern Canada) to give out these prizes in person.
For years it was like pulling teeth to get boys to apply. One year the application review time line was shortened considerably, simply in order to get some boys to answer the call -- because, you see, if no boys applied, the money wouldn't be given to a girl -- nor would the selected girl get double funding. The funds would just go back into the endowment investments till the following year.
This year I have 64 applications to review -- 35 from girls and a whopping 29 from boys: the greatest number of male applicants I've seen in the history of the program! Wow!
I try to review each application twice -- and as of this morning, I finished my first 'fly-over' of the boys' applications.
Again: WOW!
Very few of these applicants, this year, are aiming for university. One wants to be an engineer, and two, teachers. There are several who want training to be light-body (i.e. cars, trucks) mechanics. One wants to be a chef. Two want to become carpenters. Some want to develop skills and knowledge in computers and digital technology and/or graphic arts -- and two or three want to be entrepreneurs with training in business and marketing. Two want to be police officers, and one wants to be trained in Border Patrol.
In addition to the crop of trades and vocations that dominate these applications, there are some very interesting stories. Several boys live in single-parent families, whether due to death or divorce. This is becoming more common each year, but this year, at least two applicants mentioned that their mothers had also gone back to school for opportunities to make a better living and accomplish something long desired.
Then there are the other challenges faced by these students. There are learning disabilities, physical injuries overcome, a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, and heartbreak at abandonment by a father "who cares for no one but himself" -- this last written as a footnote to his Financial Assessment, by a boy who, as reported by one of his references, has regularly helped her in her home to do the things her multiple sclerosis prevents her from doing.
Why am I telling you all this, Gentle Readers?
Because after yet another Winter of Discontent, with continued corruption and strife in political leadership, with concerns about climate change, with natural disasters of the like not witnessed before, with terrorism and bouts of violence still cropping up to jar and shatter innocents around the globe...well...one just might want to fling up one's hands in despair.
But these applicants -- these young men who've stepped out with faith and courage to actually express themselves on paper and assess in their hearts and minds what they'd like to do to move forward in life -- these young men have opened my eyes to HOPE once more.
I know full well that their futures will not be all milk and honey, all smooth sailing -- but they're setting their faces like flint towards what lies ahead, and for that I applaud them, and thank them, for as Max Ehrmann opined in his Desiderata...
"...with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."
My "neighbour" exhibiting next to me at the "Take 5" art show and sale this week has been Joyce Hartman, who lives north of Bashaw, just off Highway 21...and is, I believe, a member of the Bashaw Art Club. I can't find a web page or blog for her (she's older than I) so can't give you a link. Sorry.
She features in this afternoon's story of delight and joy.
It was very quiet during my shift at the show (1 - 4 p.m.) but 'long about 3:30 p.m. a young family sauntered by our front door as my co-worker and I were taking a breath of air. I invited 'em in to see the art...but the littlest girls weren't interested. Still, on their way down the street I heard one adult with them say, "I'll bet your mom would like to see the art show."
Sure enough, a few moments later they were all in the theatre: mom, three daughters (eldest, about 11 years old), and friend/companion.
By closing at 4 p.m., "Mom" had purchased a bold acrylic (unframed) canvas by the above-mentioned Ms. Hartman: "Mountain Ash Berries". She said it reminded her of the tree in her former front garden.
Former, because she's from the Flood Zone (or 'Ground Zero of the Flood', as she called it) in SE Elbow Park area in Calgary. Not one of the fancy newer homes, but an older, modest home that is normally 2 blocks from the Elbow River -- except when it floods. (She showed us photos.)
She and her husband bought the house a year ago; the 11-year-old had her bedroom (with art supplies) in the basement.
The basement was flooded nearly to the ceiling...but the place is salvageable. That said, the girl lost everything. Generous benefactors in a shop in Britannia (a very posh SW neighbourhood) where she has a picture on sale, have given her art supplies. Strangers have come out of the woodwork to help with the clean-up. The family is living higher up in the northwest part of the city, with "Mom"'s parents.
And yes, the front garden is gone...or at best, a muddy mess.
When we asked what could be sent to help in the area, "Mom" replied that the most important thing was food and cleaning supplies, like paper towels and hand sanitizer for the cleaning crews so they could wash their hands before they could eat. Some of the volunteers have had to be hospitalized due to mould etc. contracted/inhaled while cleaning.
Not a word about something she needed. Only about the needs of others.
And she bought art. Uplifting art. A picture that would remind her of her wee holiday in Bashaw, a rural place in the middle of nowhere, Central Alberta, where, she agreed, one could find healing and solace and the strength to start again.
